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Thread: No forgiveness for the unforgiving?

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    Senior Member Smitty's Avatar
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    No forgiveness for the unforgiving?

    In Matthew 18:23-35 is the account of the indebted slave who owed a large sum of money to the king.
    The King forgave the slave his debt to him because he felt compassion for the man.
    Later on, a fellow slave who owed the forgiven salve money refused to show the same kind of forgiveness that the king had upon him and had
    this slave who was indebted to him thrown into the debtor's prison.
    When the king heard about it, he had the wicked slave handed over to the tortures until he should pay back all that was owed.

    My question is three fold:

    (1) What are the consequences to a believer who refuses to show forgiveness to a fellow brother or sister in Christ?
    (2) Would God revoke a pardon once granted for refusing to forgive?
    (3) Does the last verse in this text v.35 imply judgment or loss of salvation because of a refusal to forgive?
    If you put God First, you have Him at Last.

  2. #2
    Frozen Chosen A.J.'s Avatar
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    As Christians, forgiving others is not optional, nor is it only for fellow brothers and sisters in Christ. We are required to forgive everyone who we hold unforgiveness toward, Christian or not.

    There's an old saying I'm sure everyone here has heard many times. Holding unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. Unforgiveness is poison to our soul and often turns to a root of bitterness, which the word says, defiles many. Hebrews 12:15.

    We ARE under grace as Christians, but I've also heard teaching that says that under grace, what's expected of us is greater than being under the law. I tend to believe that we won't lose our salvation for holding on to unforgivenss, but it will show up when we stand before God at the Great White Throne Judgement.

    Not sure I've really answered your questions, but that's where I stand on forgiving those who have trespassed against me.

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  4. #3
    Senior Member Cardinal TT's Avatar
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    I agree with A.J.
    In regard to point 3. I don't believe you lose your salvation but you will pay a price that you will later regret.

    The worst case scenario is where someone doesn't deal with unforgiveness and it festers towards offence against God. Then it's possible that out of a deep root of bitterness they turn their back on Christ and no longer want to be a Christian. They make a deliberate choice to leave the faith but it started with unforgiveness.

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    Frozen Chosen A.J.'s Avatar
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    ...a point I'd like to add, forgiving isn't a feeling, it's an act of the will, a choice, because just as Jesus forgave those who put Him on the cross, so also must I forgive others.

    When I'm doing inner healing and deliverance with people, I get them to say, "Father God, as an act of my will, I choose to forgive ________ for....."

    It can be a long and arduous task, getting the person to say that sentence.

    People often think that asking God to help them forgive is forgiving. I'll stop them when they say that and tell them that God WILL help them, now say, "I choose to..."

    Same as when people ask God to help with anything... it's always a choice, an act of their will, to choose whatever... some people pray for help for years and never take that step within their will.

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  8. #5
    Forgiving those that wronged you wrong usually takes a while, years. Sometimes several years. This I believe is where Jesus said to forgive them 70x7. A number that has no end, and is continual. The deeper the hurt, the longer it takes. My very good pastor friend (was an A/G superintendant) once told me, "Ryp, this takes at least 3 years to feel like you are getting past it" when dealing with a church that has caused hurt. He's right. When Family betrays you, that takes time and will require continual forgiveness released from your spirit/inner being. It takes time but the good news? It is possible to be healed IF you continually labor in release, "letting them off the hook".

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    Senior Member Smitty's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by A.J. View Post
    As Christians, forgiving others is not optional, nor is it only for fellow brothers and sisters in Christ. We are required to forgive everyone who we hold unforgiveness toward, Christian or not.

    There's an old saying I'm sure everyone here has heard many times. Holding unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. Unforgiveness is poison to our soul and often turns to a root of bitterness, which the word says, defiles many. Hebrews 12:15.

    We ARE under grace as Christians, but I've also heard teaching that says that under grace, what's expected of us is greater than being under the law. I tend to believe that we won't lose our salvation for holding on to unforgiveness, but it will show up when we stand before God at the Great White Throne Judgement.

    Not sure I've really answered your questions, but that's where I stand on forgiving those who have trespassed against me.
    Someone may believe that forgiveness is earned by forgiving others. I don't!
    Peters offer of seven times sounds generous, but Jesus response seems to indicate our willingness to forgive should be limitless.
    I don't know if retaining a heart of unforgiveness to the grave would result in missing heaven?
    But I think it's clear from 1 John 1:7 if a believer retains malice in their hearts or if they harbor resentment and grudges, they cannot expect the continued cleansing of the blood of Christ. I think that we could all agree that our relationship to God doesn't depend on personal works.
    But forgiving others does keep the channel of grace open because relationship with others affects relationship with God and vice versa.
    Therefore, I cannot help to think that a refusal to forgive cuts the believer off from the grace of God.
    There is much evidence in the Bible that a person cannot be right with God and have a wrong attitude with others.
    The last thing I would ever want to experience is to stand before the judgment seat of Christ *2 Cor 5:10 (as you mentioned) and have the records show I had secretly held resentment and bitterness in my heart against another human being. Someone said that forgiveness is evidence of a regenerate heart and I tend to agree with that statement.

    Christian Publicly Forgives Man Who Murdered Wife, Daughter — Charisma News
    If you put God First, you have Him at Last.

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    Frozen Chosen A.J.'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by FireBrand View Post
    Forgiving those that wronged you wrong usually takes a while, years. Sometimes several years. This I believe is where Jesus said to forgive them 70x7. A number that has no end, and is continual. The deeper the hurt, the longer it takes. My very good pastor friend (was an A/G superintendant) once told me, "Ryp, this takes at least 3 years to feel like you are getting past it" when dealing with a church that has caused hurt. He's right. When Family betrays you, that takes time and will require continual forgiveness released from your spirit/inner being. It takes time but the good news? It is possible to be healed IF you continually labor in release, "letting them off the hook".
    Agree. It look God a full 2 years to heal me and restore me for spiritual abuse from a pastor where we went to church. I had to forgive and God restored. I had desperately wanted to leave, but God got right up in my face and pointed at the pastor and He said, "HE will be gone..." then He pointed at me and said, "...and YOU will still be here." I was shocked but said, "Ok, Lord." It wasn't long till that pastor resigned.

    Healing and restoration is usually done in stages over time. Once we make that initial decision to foregive, God will lead us through the rest. Now I have to kind of dig into my memory bank to remember what happened that hurt me so deeply.

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  13. #8
    Quote Originally Posted by A.J. View Post
    Once we make that initial decision to foregive, God will lead us through the rest. Now I have to kind of dig into my memory bank to remember what happened that hurt me so deeply.
    For me, it has become a reflex. I don't decide to breathe, I breathe. Some offends me, I forgive. And forgive until healed.

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    Senior Member Ezekiel 33's Avatar
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    Jesus commanded us to love our enemies and pray for those who spitefully use us. That is part of the process.

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  17. #10
    So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed. John's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by FireBrand View Post
    "letting them off the hook".
    That's a phrase I use to help myself forgive others. It's just simple, I like it.

    What is forgiveness really? Ceasing demand for restitution? A "sense" or feeling that we are or OK with a situation/person?

    Is it just a transaction as in literally forgiving a debt? I don't know how much feelings play into that equation.

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