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Thread: The reformed bush movement...

  1. #1
    Senior Member wheeze's Avatar
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    The reformed bush movement...

    Thought i would update u guys on the reformed bush movement....

    we r currently expanding 2 include pine trees and pine straw. ticks have been a problem but we have discovered they r a source of protein. tick soup has become a favorite with some of us but occasionally one will attach itself to the roof of my mouth.

    other news...

    -our outreaches have started influencing those n the institutional churches. we have made some inroads with the methodists, mormons, buddhists, and JW's. The buddhists seem the most interested as they sale our rose worship bushes selling them at the local airports 4 cash. we stay away from the charismatics as they keep cursing our rose bushes before we can use them n our outreaches.

    -we have agreed to accept people without hair on their bodies. we do make it a requirement that they wear a angora sweater when attending corporate bush worship services. i know it sounds Pharisaical but rules r rules. hairless saints have a tendency to get scratched and cut especially while laying under rose bushes. the lawsuits have soared through the roof. we now carry a first aid bag with us complete with neosporin and release forms from all responsibility 4 injuries occurred during worship times.

    -we have come out with a new bible called "The New Bush Translation." our scholars have worked long hours over the last 2 days to translate the koine bush n2 modern southern slang. i include a excerpt below...

    Gen 1:1
    this whole thing started when god got back from a fishing trip. after a nap he created heaven complete with dove and pheasant 4 the hunting season and the earth including trout and bass for fly fishing. no hunting or fishing licenses were needed. god (billy bob to some of us) is on top of things like white on rice."

    you can find our bible on amazon and other fine outlets like dicks sporting goods, walmart, lizard lick towing apparel store, and ur local flea markets.

    -we r having our 1st big conference coming up n november. we call it "bush explosion 2015!" registration details forth coming but the speakers include apostle/prophet/pastor/teacher/evangelist Wheeze, bible teacher and renowned poster the rev fuego, psalmist and prophetess lista (earplugs recommended), and the whole cast of Preach! (not responsible for injuries sustained during ministry) hairless people r always welcome....

    there will b more updates as we go. get excited, raise ur hands and rejoice, and may the bush b urs!

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    FresnoJoe (09-28-2015)

  3. #2
    Resident Chocolate Monster Lista's Avatar
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    Ha! You just let me know when and where buddy. I'll sing your socks off.

    (and no...I won't sing any opera...since that's apparently all you've ever heard me sing)

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    FresnoJoe (09-28-2015)

  5. #3
    Quote Originally Posted by wheeze;8815[B
    "bush explosion 2015!"
    Ahh...so this must be your presidential candidate attended to by one of your followers:

    The reformed bush movement...-jeb-bush-jpg

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    FresnoJoe (09-28-2015), Lista (09-21-2015)

  7. #4
    Super Moderator Quest's Avatar
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    This is my favorite..

    we have come out with a new bible called "The New Bush Translation." our scholars have worked long hours over the last 2 days to translate the koine bush n2 modern southern slang. i include a excerpt below...

    Gen 1:1
    this whole thing started when god got back from a fishing trip. after a nap he created heaven complete with dove and pheasant 4 the hunting season and the earth including trout and bass for fly fishing. no hunting or fishing licenses were needed. god (billy bob to some of us) is on top of things like white on rice."

  8. The Following User Says Thank You to Quest For This Useful Post:

    FresnoJoe (09-28-2015)

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