I've experienced this as a small group leader where people have "jumped ship". They think they are "in" but when working with them, their resistance to discipleship is exposed and they either work through it or leave.
You are describing much of the church. And you should see some of the Google review of our church!
It's a riot. One of my favorite "It's an hour in and the pastor hasn't even started to preach yet." Our worship goes as long as the Spirit dictates. I tell people who come to our church to expect a 3-4 hour time commitment, to bring a bottle of water and even a snack if they desire. If they have children they especially need to bring a snack and quiet toys.