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Thread: Terminally-ill woman holds celebration before ending her own life

  1. #1
    Administrator fuego's Avatar
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    Terminally-ill woman holds celebration before ending her own life

    SAN DIEGO -- In early July, Betsy Davis emailed her closest friends and relatives to invite them to a two-day party, telling them: "These circumstances are unlike any party you have attended before, requiring emotional stamina, centeredness and openness."

    And just one rule: No crying in front of her.

    The 41-year-old artist with ALS, or Lou Gehrig's disease, held the gathering to say goodbye before becoming one of the first Californians to take a lethal dose of drugs under the state's new doctor-assisted suicide law for the terminally ill.

    "For me and everyone who was invited, it was very challenging to consider, but there was no question that we would be there for her," said Niels Alpert, a cinematographer from New York City. "The idea to go and spend a beautiful weekend that culminates in their suicide - that is not a normal thing, not a normal, everyday occurrence. In the background of the lovely fun, smiles and laughter that we had that weekend was the knowledge of what was coming."

    Davis worked out a detailed schedule for the gathering on the weekend of July 23-24, including the precise hour she planned to slip into a coma, and shared her plans with her guests in the invitation.

    More than 30 people came to the party at a home with a wraparound porch in the picturesque Southern California mountain town of Ojai, flying in from New York, Chicago and across California.

    One woman brought a cello. A man played a harmonica. There were cocktails, pizza from her favorite local joint, and a screening in her room of one of her favorite movies, "The Dance of Reality," based on the life of a Chilean film director.

    As the weekend drew to a close, her friends kissed her goodbye, gathered for a photo and left, and Davis was wheeled out to a canopy bed on a hillside, where she took a combination of morphine, pentobarbital and chloral hydrate prescribed by her doctor.

    Kelly Davis said she loved her sister's idea for the gathering.

    "Obviously it was hard for me. It's still hard for me," said Davis, who wrote about it for the online news outlet Voice of San Diego. "The worst was needing to leave the room every now and then, because I would get choked up. But people got it. They understood how much she was suffering and that she was fine with her decision. They respected that. They knew she wanted it to be a joyous occasion."

    Davis took her life a little over a month after a California law giving the option to the terminally ill went into effect. Four other states allow doctor-assisted suicide, with Oregon the first in 1997.

    Opponents of the law warn it could become a way out for people who are uninsured or fearful of high medical bills.

    Marilyn Golden of the Disability Rights Education & Defense Fund, said her heart goes out to anyone dealing with a terminal illness, but "there are still millions of people in California threatened by the danger of this law."

    Davis spent months planning her exit, feeling empowered after spending the last three years losing control of her body bit by bit. The painter and performance artist could no longer stand, brush her teeth or scratch an itch. Her caretakers had to translate her slurred speech for others.

    "Dear rebirth participants you're all very brave for sending me off on my journey," she wrote in her invitation. "There are no rules. Wear what you want, speak your mind, dance, hop, chant, sing, pray, but do not cry in front of me. Oh, OK one rule."

    During the party, old friends reconnected and Davis rolled in and out of the rooms in her electric wheelchair and onto the porch, talking with her guests.

    At one point, she invited friends to her room to try on the clothes she had picked out for them. They modeled the outfits to laughter. Guests were also invited to take a "Betsy souvenir" - a painting, beauty product or other memento. Her sister had placed sticky notes on the items, explaining each one's significance.

    Wearing a Japanese kimono she bought on a bucket-list trip she took after being diagnosed in 2013, she looked out at her last sunset and took the drugs at 6:45 p.m. with her caretaker, her doctor, her massage therapist and her sister by her side. Four hours later, she died.

    Friends said it was the final performance for the artist, who once drew pictures on a stage with whipped cream.

    "What Betsy did gave her the most beautiful death that any person could ever wish for," Alpert said. "By taking charge, she turned her departure into a work of art."

    Pics at the link:

    http://www.cbsnews.com/news/terminal...-her-own-life/

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    Administrator fuego's Avatar
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    This kind of thing just grieves me to the core of my heart.

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    Bookman (08-14-2016)

  4. #3
    I had a friend host his own memorial service a few weeks before his death. He didn't have physician assisted suicide, but he knew he was dying and he wanted to be part of the celebration of his life.

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    Senior Member Cardinal TT's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fuego View Post
    This kind of thing just grieves me to the core of my heart.
    Sadness knowing that 5 seconds after dying where is her spirit.

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    Administrator fuego's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bookman View Post
    I had a friend host his own memorial service a few weeks before his death. He didn't have physician assisted suicide, but he knew he was dying and he wanted to be part of the celebration of his life.
    Can't argue with that. Of course that isn't even remotely close to taking one's own life and doing the same thing.

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    Administrator fuego's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cardinal TT View Post
    Sadness knowing that 5 seconds after dying where is her spirit.
    Exactly. And the reason it is so grieving.

  8. #7
    * Toxic Troll - Negative Nancy Farm Truck's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bookman View Post
    I had a friend host his own memorial service a few weeks before his death. He didn't have physician assisted suicide, but he knew he was dying and he wanted to be part of the celebration of his life.
    Too bad a Christian couldn't have ministered healing to the guy... Jesus took this guy's infirmities upon Himself so he could be healed.

    If Christians don't know how to minster healing, they should find a few in their area that know how and keep them on speed dial so they can be contacted quickly.

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    Frozen Chosen A.J.'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Farm Truck View Post
    Too bad a Christian couldn't have ministered healing to the guy... Jesus took this guy's infirmities upon Himself so he could be healed.

    If Christians don't know how to minster healing, they should find a few in their area that know how and keep them on speed dial so they can be contacted quickly.
    So I take it that when you pray for people to be healed, they always are?

  10. #9
    * Toxic Troll - Negative Nancy Farm Truck's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by A.J. View Post
    So I take it that when you pray for people to be healed, they always are?
    I'm surprised you ask this question... next time you and the Lord Jesus Christ are having a word, explain what you apparently have issues with what He said here:

    Mark 16:15-18
    And he said unto them, Go ye into all the world, and preach the gospel to every creature.
    He that believes and is baptized shall be saved; but he that believes not shall be damned.
    And these signs shall follow them that believe; In my name shall they cast out devils; they shall speak with new tongues;
    They shall take up serpents; and if they drink any deadly thing, it shall not hurt them; they shall lay hands on the sick, and they shall recover.


    You don't reckon Jesus is not watching over His Word to perform it, do ya?

    Yes, as far as I'm concerned all I pray for to receive healing do get healed based on what Jesus said... simply because He is not a liar. And, personally I do not get sick and spend zero each year on pharmakeia / witchcraft / medicine.

    I have hands... I can "lay them on" and that is my part. The healing is Jesus' part. I cannot personally do anything about that, but Jesus said healing would come if I lay hands on them... so I do my part and He does His part. I don't believe Jesus is a liar, so healing always comes... it's just not always received. The problem is NOT with Jesus when someone does not get healed.

    Most people these days, sadly including most Christians, are so invested in medical science that they call the doctor before they call Jesus... and Jesus lets them have what they sow (Gal 6:7,8).

    God allows Christians to die when they call the doc first and put their faith / action into the wisdom and abilities of man above the Lord Jesus. It's always too bad when someone dies before their time, but God allows it because He is not the One deciding what seeds people sow.

  11. #10
    Administrator fuego's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Farm Truck View Post
    Yes, as far as I'm concerned all I pray for to receive healing do get healed based on what Jesus said...

    Ok. So that would be a 'no'.

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