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Thread: Funny Pictures, Sayings and Cartoons

  1. #791
    Senior Member Nikos's Avatar
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    An old geezer, who had been a retired farmer for a long time, became very bored and decided to open a medical clinic. He put a sign up outside that said: Dr. Geezer's clinic. "Get your treatment for $500, if not cured get back $1,000."

    Doctor "Young," who was positive that this old geezer didn't know beans about medicine, thought this would be a great opportunity to get $1,000. So he went to Dr. Geezer's clinic. This is what transpired.

    Dr. Young: --- "Dr. Geezer, I have lost all taste in my mouth." can you please help me ??

    Dr. Geezer: --- "Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in Dr. Young's mouth."

    Dr. Young: --- Aaagh !! -- "This is Gasoline!"

    Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! You've got your taste back. That will be $500."

    Dr. Young gets annoyed and goes back after a couple of days figuring to recover his money.

    Dr Young: "I have lost my memory, I cannot remember anything."

    Dr. Geezer: "Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient's mouth."

    Doctor Young: "Oh no you don't, -- that is Gasoline!"

    Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! You've got your memory back. That will be $500."

    Dr. Young (after having lost $1000) leaves angrily and comes back after several more days.

    Dr. Young: "My eyesight has become weak --- I can hardly see !!!!

    Dr. Geezer: "Well, I don't have any medicine for that so -- " Here's your $1000 back."

    Dr. Young: "But this is only $500..."

    Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! You got your vision back! That will be $500."


    Moral of story -- Just because you're "Young" doesn't mean that you can outsmart an old "Geezer " !!!!

  2. #792
    Senior Member Nikos's Avatar
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    A redneck with a bucket full of live fish was approached recently by a game warden in Texas as he started to drive his boat away from a lake. The game warden asked the man, "May I see your fishing license please?" "Naw, sir," replied the redneck. "I don't need none of them there papers. These here are my pet fish."
    "Pet fish!?!?"
    "Yep. Once a week, I bring these here fish o'mine down to the lake and let 'em swim 'round for a while. Then when I whistle, they swim right back into my net and I take 'em home."
    "What a line of baloney....you're under arrest."
    The redneck said, "It's the truth, Mr. Gov'ment man. I'll show ya!
    We do this all the time!!"
    "WE do, now, do WE?" smirked the warden. "PROVE it!"
    The redneck released the fish into the lake and stood and waited. After a few minutes, the warden said, "Well?"
    "Well, WHUT?" said the redneck.
    The warden asked, "When are you going to call em back?"
    "Call who back?"
    "The FISH," replied the warden!
    "Whut fish?" asked the redneck.

    MORAL OF THE STORY:
    Rednecks may not be as smart as some city slickers, but they ain't as dumb as some government employees.

  3. #793
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    Funny Pictures, Sayings and Cartoons-xgg-jpg

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    Quote Originally Posted by krystian View Post
    Funny Pictures, Sayings and Cartoons-doctor-told-burn-fat-32469979-jpg

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