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Thread: Southernism explained to Yankees

  1. #1

    Southernism explained to Yankees

    The North has Bloomingdales, the South has Dollar General.

    The North has coffee houses, the South has Waffle Houses.

    The North has dating services, the South has family reunions.

    The North has switchblade knives, the South has Lee Press-on-Nails.

    The North has double last names, the South has double first names.

    The North has Indy car races, the South has stock car races.

    The North has Cream of Wheat, the South has grits.

    The North has green salads, the South has collard greens.

    The North has lobsters, the South has crawfish.

    The North has the rust belt, the South has the Bible Belt.


    FOR NORTHERNERS MOVING SOUTH . . .

    In the South: --If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men
    in a four-wheel drive pickup truck with a tow chain will be along shortly.
    Don't try to help them, just stay out of their way. This is what they
    live for.

    Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store....
    do not buy food at this store.

    Remember, "y'all" is proper English, "all y'all" is plural, and "all
    y'all's" is plural possessive

    Get used to hearing "Y'all ain't from round here, are ya?"

    Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later on how
    to use it.

    Don't be worried at not understanding what people are saying. They can't understand you either.

    The first Southern statement to creep into a transplanted Northerner's
    vocabulary is the adjective "big'ol," truck or big'ol" boy. Most Northerners
    begin their Southern-influenced dialect this way. All of them are in
    denial about it.

    The proper pronunciations you learned in school is no longer proper.

    Be advised that "He needed killin'." is a valid defense here.

    If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch this", you should
    stay out of the way. These are likely to be the last words he'll
    ever say.

    If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the smallest accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store.
    It doesn't matter whether you need anything or not. You just have to go there.

    Do not be surprised to find that 10-year olds own their own shotguns, they are proficient marksmen, and their mamas taught them how to aim.

    In the South, we have found that the best way to grow a lush green lawn is to
    pour gravel on it and call it a driveway.

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    curly sue (08-23-2016)

  3. #2
    So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed. John's Avatar
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    Southerners are also very fond of attesting to the fact that they WAS "raised right".

    I have spent a good deal of the last 8 months in Nashville, kinda tired of the hillbilly stuff.

    I do believe I could write several Country and Western songs, I have that much material.

    Store Clerk: That will be 5 dollars and ten cents ma'am
    Customer: You called me ma'am, you have good manners, you must have been raised right.
    Store clerk: Yes ma'am, if I ever talked back to my folks, momma would take me out back and beat me with a stick.
    Customer: Oh yes, you was raised right! My daddy would would take that belt out and give me a whoopin if I got sassy.
    Store Clerk: You was raised right too!
    Customer: So many folks just aren't raised right any more
    Store Clerk: That's right ma'am...
    John: Can I please buy this set of wrenches now, I have things to get done today.
    Store Clerk: well, you did say "please", you must have been raised right.
    John: Please take my money I have things to do today.

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    curly sue (08-23-2016)

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    It's all so true!

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    * Toxic Troll - Negative Nancy Farm Truck's Avatar
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    Sounds like John is in too much of a hurry... needs to relax, kick back, and cast all them tha care upon the Lord!

    Believe me, you'd rather hang around people like that versus people from the big city that will mug ya... they ain't raised right.

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    curly sue (08-24-2016)

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    Administrator fuego's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by krystian View Post

    The first Southern statement to creep into a transplanted Northerner's
    vocabulary is the adjective "big'ol," truck or big'ol" boy. Most Northerners
    begin their Southern-influenced dialect this way. All of them are in
    denial about it.
    Actually it's not. It's "fixin'". As in "I'm fixin' to go to the store. :)

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    So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed. John's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Farm Truck View Post
    Sounds like John is in too much of a hurry... needs to relax, kick back, and cast all them tha care upon the Lord!

    Believe me, you'd rather hang around people like that versus people from the big city that will mug ya... they ain't raised right.
    nah... I'm laid back as they come there ole Farm Truck and I was raised right too!

    That hillbilly boastin in them own selves just ain't becomin of the Lord.

  10. #7
    * Toxic Troll - Negative Nancy Farm Truck's Avatar
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    Well, God did say we overcome the evil one by the Blood of the Lamb word of our testimony (Revelation 12:11)

    And, Let the one who boasts boast in the Lord (2 Corinthians 10:17)

    Nuthin wrong with sayin what God says about us... the Lord enjoys it when His children do what He does.

  11. #8
    Fixin to is used all the time in the Curly family!
    Last edited by curly sue; 08-24-2016 at 09:43 AM.

  12. #9
    Administrator fuego's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by curly sue View Post
    Fixen to is used all the time in the Curly family!
    The president of the Bible college I taught at is a New Yorker from Long Island. He came down to be a part of the Brownsville revival, and after being here a few years he was saying one time that he went to say something and realized the 'fixin' was the only thing that would fit. I think that word is definitely the first one. :)

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    Resident Chocolate Monster Lista's Avatar
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    I claim no knowledge of red-neck ways.

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