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Thread: Empathic people are natural targets for sociopaths

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    Frozen Chosen A.J.'s Avatar
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    Empathic people are natural targets for sociopaths

    This is a great article about sociopaths and the people they target (empaths) and how they do what they do. I don't know about you, but I've had some of these experiences. One was a lady in my church who tried to become my friend ... and there were people who knew what she was like and didn't warn me. By the time she was done with me, I was a wreck, but had the wherewithal to cut her completely off, even though she was accusing me of being a bad Christian because I wouldn't "forgive" her and continue the "friendship." I have other instances ... even the home I grew up in. But read the article... it's very informative.

    Empathic people are natural targets for sociopaths - protect yourself
    Dr Jane and Tim McGregor
    Addiction Today
    Wed, 30 Oct 2013

    The empathy trap: therapists and counselors almost by definition are empathic, to facilitate clients' recovery - but this quality can mean those carers are targets for sociopaths, aided by what Dr Jane & Tim McGregor call "apaths". The first UK article on this cruel sport shows how to identify and thus avoid it.

    People targeted by a sociopath often respond with self-deprecating comments like "I was stupid", "what was I thinking" of "I should've listened to my gut instinct". But being involved with a sociopath is like being brainwashed. The sociopath's superficial charm is usually the means by which s/he conditions people.

    Comment: Tragically, the shame and embarrassment of having been conned and duped often keeps people quiet about what happened to them, which then further obscures the machinations of the sociopaths and results in other people getting duped by them as well. If people got over this shame and embarrassment, they could network with others about these predators and then they would be exposed for what they are and less able to destroy the lives of others.

    On initial contact, a sociopath will often test other people's empathy, so questions geared towards discovering if you are highly empathic or not should ring alarm bells. People with a highly empathic disposition are often targeted. Those with lower levels of empathy are often passed over, though they can be drawn in and used by sociopaths as part of their cruel entertainment.

    Sociopaths make up 25% of the prison population, committing over twice as many aggressive acts as other criminals. The reoffending rate of sociopaths is about double that of other offenders, and for violent crimes it is triple.

    But not all sociopaths are found in prison. There is the less-visible burden of sociopath-induced emotional trauma which, if left unchecked, can lead to anxiety disorders, depression and post-traumatic stress disorder.

    Comment: In fact, one could argue that only the sociopath/psychopath "failures" are in prison, while the successful ones, through their chronic lies, deception, and manipulation, remain free to torment others and destroy lives. As renowned psychopathy expert Robert Hare, author of Without Conscience: The Disturbing World of the Psychopaths Among Us and Snakes in Suits: When Psychopaths Go to Work, has said:

    "If I wasn't studying psychopaths in prison, I'd do it at the stock exchange"


    Chronically traumatized people often exhibit hyper-vigilant, anxious and agitated behavior, symptoms such as tension headaches, gastrointestinal disturbances, abdominal pain, back pain, tremors and nausea.

    Exposure to and interaction with a sociopath in childhood can leave lifelong scars. This can apply to people in therapy - and for those who in recovery trained as therapists, re-exposure as an adult can trigger old emotions and PTSD.

    This article is not about sociopaths per se but about surviving the harm they cause.

    Everyday sociopaths

    Many sociopaths wreak havoc in a covert way, so that their underlying condition remains hidden for years. They can possess a superficial charm, and this diverts attention from disturbing aspects of their nature.

    The following case history illustrates how people can be systematically targeted until they feel they can barely trust their own sense of reality - what we call "gaslighting". Sociopathic abuse is targeted abuse. It can wreck lives. Victims can become survivors, but at huge cost.

    At school, 'James' took a dislike to a classmate, 'Sam', who was sensitive and popular. He would mock him for auditioning for the school play or for getting upset over failing a test. The situation deteriorated when it became known that Sam's parents were separating. Sam appeared to be taking it with fortitude, to the admiration of his peers. He also got attention and sympathy from the school staff, especially James' favourite teacher: ie, the one he manipulated most easily.

    James decided on a plan of covert bullying. He started a whispering campaign implying that Sam's parents were not splitting up, that he had said they were in order to seek attention. Sadly, this was all too successful and over the next few days Sam was met with silence and verbal bullying from his hitherto-supportive classmates.

    James continued his campaign, targeting Sam's close friends over the next few days. They found themselves accused of misdemeanours such as sending offensive emails/texts. Then the 'favourite' teacher went on "leave with immediate effect" after accusations of assaulting a pupil. Where had the accusations come from? Guess.

    This case shows how deliberately sociopaths, from a young age, can target others. Taking advantage of people's credibility and goodwill, James exploited the situation. With a more perceptive head teacher, this sociopath might have been found out, but he knew who to manipulate and how far he could go.

    See the emperor/empress's clothes

    To deal with sociopaths effectively, you first need to open your eyes. In The Emperor's New Clothes by Hans Christian Anderson, two weavers promise the emperor a new suit of clothes that is invisible to those who are stupid and unfit for their positions.

    When the emperor parades before his subjects, all the adults, not wishing to be seen in a negative light, pretend they can see the clothes. The only truthful person is a child who cries "But he isn't wearing any clothes!".

    You, too, need to see sociopaths as they really are. We are conditioned to keep quiet, which often means turning a blind eye to or putting up with abuse.

    The boy in the tale represents those who see the problem behavior for what it is and find the courage of their convictions to make a stand. Sight becomes insight, which turns into action. Awareness is the first step in limiting the negative effects of contact with a sociopath.

    Interactions of the sociopath

    Let's look at what we term the Socio-Empath-Apath Triad, or Seat. Unremitting abuse of other people is an activity of the sociopath that stands out. To win their games, sociopaths enlist the help of hangers-on: apaths.

    The apath. We call those who collude in the sport of the sociopath apathetic, or apaths. In this situation, it means a lack of concern or being indifferent to the targeted person.

    We have highlighted the importance of seeing the problem for what it is via the tale of the Emperor's New Clothes, which represents the collective denial and double standards which are often a feature of social life. The apath in this context is someone who is willing to be blind: ie, not to see that the emperor/empress is naked.

    Apaths are an integral part of the sociopath's arsenal and contribute to sociopathic abuse. Sociopaths have an uncanny knack of knowing who will assist them in bringing down the person they are targeting. It is not necessarily easy to identify an apath; in other circumstances, an apath can show ample empathy and concern for others - just not in this case. The one attribute an apath must have is a link to the target.

    How apaths, who might otherwise be fair-minded people, become involved in such destructive business is not hard to understand, but it can be hard to accept. The main qualifying attribute is poor judgment resulting from lack of insight. They might be jealous of or angry at the target, and thus have something to gain from the evolving situation.

    At other times, the apath might not want to see the 'bad' in someone, particularly if the sociopath is useful. Or they might choose not to see because they have enough on their plate and do not possess the wherewithal or moral courage to help the targeted person at that time. Usually, be it active or passive involvement, the apath's conscience appears to fall asleep. It is this scenario that causes people blindly to follow leaders motivated only by self-interest.

    Readers might know of Yale University professor Stanley Milgram's experiments to test the human propensity to obey orders, as participants gave increasingly large electric shocks to subjects. Afterwards, he wrote an article, The Perils of Obedience: "Ordinary people, simply doing their jobs and without any particular hostility on their part, can become agents in a terrible destructive process".

    Apaths are often fearful people. They are the ones most likely to go with the flow, to agree that the emperor/empress is wearing new clothes. They might also fail to perceive the threat: a danger is of no importance if you deny its existence.

    An apath's response to a sociopath's call to arms can then result from a state of 'learned helplessness'. Apaths behave defenselessly because they want to avoid unpleasant or harmful circumstances [including the sociopath turning on them]. Apathy is an avoidance strategy.

    The empath. Often, the person targeted by the sociopath is an empath. Empaths are ordinary people who...


    https://www.sott.net/article/268449-...otect-yourself

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    There are advantages to being a hermit.

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    So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed. John's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by curly sue View Post
    There are advantages to being a hermit.


    yeah, life would be so much easier if it weren't for all these people!

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    curly sue (11-25-2016)

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    Frozen Chosen A.J.'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by curly sue View Post
    There are advantages to being a hermit.
    Quote Originally Posted by John View Post


    yeah, life would be so much easier if it weren't for all these people!


    Curly sue, Jesus didn't say, "Stay ye therefore in your own little house and be safe." He said, "Go ye..."

    And I THINK, correct me if I'm wrong, I THINK we're told to make sure and spend time together studying scripture, breaking bread and fellowshipping and singing songs, hymns and spiritual songs ... besides the "Go ye..."




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    So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed. John's Avatar
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    psychopaths ..... love church .... so many targets .... so much opportunity ....

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    curly sue (11-25-2016)

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    Quote Originally Posted by John View Post
    psychopaths ..... love church .... so many targets .... so much opportunity ....
    Ain't that the truth.

    We had a pastor a couple of years ago who fits the description. We heard after the fact that he destroyed 3 or 4 other churches before he came to us. We fired him, but not before 75% of the congregation left. He had his credentials revoked and now... get this... now he started a church of his own, calling it a discipleship and healing center because his WIFE does inner healing (SOZO).

    They're everywhere!


    eta...... I found out that the search committee didn't check his references and the chairman of the committee didn't want to bring him to preach the call, but the committee voted in favor anyways.

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    So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed. John's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by A.J. View Post
    Ain't that the truth.

    We had a pastor a couple of years ago who fits the description. We heard after the fact that he destroyed 3 or 4 other churches before he came to us. We fired him, but not before 75% of the congregation left. He had his credentials revoked and now... get this... now he started a church of his own, calling it a discipleship and healing center because his WIFE does inner healing (SOZO).

    They're everywhere!


    eta...... I found out that the search committee didn't check his references and the chairman of the committee didn't want to bring him to preach the call, but the committee voted in favor anyways.
    That's how they roll A.J. ... they just move on to the next victim pool, of course only after having victimized and re-victimized their current pool of beleivers.

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    Frozen Chosen A.J.'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by John View Post
    That's how they roll A.J. ... they just move on to the next victim pool, of course only after having victimized and re-victimized their current pool of beleivers.
    Yeah, some of our people went with him and are attending there. So deceived. He STAYED in our city of 35,000 and none of the pastors want to deal with him because they're afraid of what he "could" do... It's not good.

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    So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed. John's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by A.J. View Post
    Yeah, some of our people went with him and are attending there. So deceived. He STAYED in our city of 35,000 and none of the pastors want to deal with him because they're afraid of what he "could" do... It's not good.
    Like I said... the church is a sociopath paradise... no consequences, it's all upside for them.

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    A.J. (11-26-2016)

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    Senior Member Romans828's Avatar
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    I tend to be an empathetic person, but I'm definitely NOT easily manipulated - I can "read" a user/manipulator from a mile away.

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