Page 1 of 9 123 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 90

Thread: Needy Neighbors?

  1. #1

    Needy Neighbors?

    I have had this family living next to me for over a year. single mother, of three young children. Doing the barely making ends meet, but a good lady with great Christian values, etc., Loves the Lord, and so do her children.

    But it really seems to me, that they are always at my home, asking for this, that, and the other thing. From milk, to movies, to eggs, to my lawn mower, weed eater, oh and before they had a washer and dryer, my machines.

    They are sweet, and at first, I didn't mind lending a hand here and there. But lately.....it seems like it's all the time. To the point, where, even my kids don't want to answer the door because it "could be them".

    How do you handle this situation? How does it stop?

    Your input would be greatly appreciated.


  2. #2
    Is it impacting your income or is it just inconvenient? Do you think she's there by accident or did God plant her next to you for a reason? Could that reason be that you are meant to bless her as long as you're able?

    She could be an "angel unaware." I'd keep on giving as long as I can.

  3. #3
    Senior Member Cardinal TT's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2015
    Posts
    7,640
    Thanked: 5995
    Blog Entries
    2
    Contact the church she belongs to as they should be helping her with financial and other needs - do other believers visit this family

    When it affects your family to the point they don't want to answer the door then you have to say something to this lady.
    You should not be expected to be consistently meeting her every need as that is unbiblical and can also be used by satan to wear you out.
    Your family is entitled to space without the pressures to always be giving out

    You need wisdom so also call in some mature godly people you can trust to help you make the right decisions

  4. The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Cardinal TT For This Useful Post:

    curly sue (07-28-2017), Lindaeverchanging (08-07-2017), Redeemed (07-28-2017), Romans828 (07-28-2017), Valiant Woman (07-28-2017)

  5. #4
    Frozen Chosen A.J.'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2015
    Location
    Alberta, Canada
    Posts
    8,050
    Thanked: 6091
    Quote Originally Posted by Cardinal TT View Post
    Contact the church she belongs to as they should be helping her with financial and other needs - do other believers visit this family

    When it affects your family to the point they don't want to answer the door then you have to say something to this lady.
    You should not be expected to be consistently meeting her every need as that is unbiblical and can also be used by satan to wear you out.
    Your family is entitled to space without the pressures to always be giving out

    You need wisdom so also call in some mature godly people you can trust to help you make the right decisions
    Good answer.

  6. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to A.J. For This Useful Post:

    Cardinal TT (07-28-2017), Redeemed (07-28-2017), Valiant Woman (07-28-2017)

  7. #5
    Senior Member Valiant Woman's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2015
    Location
    Broken Arrow, OK
    Posts
    4,301
    Thanked: 4091

    Quote Originally Posted by Cardinal TT View Post
    Contact the church she belongs to as they should be helping her with financial and other needs - do other believers visit this family

    When it affects your family to the point they don't want to answer the door then you have to say something to this lady.
    You should not be expected to be consistently meeting her every need as that is unbiblical and can also be used by satan to wear you out.
    Your family is entitled to space without the pressures to always be giving out

    You need wisdom so also call in some mature godly people you can trust to help you make the right decisions
    Yes, best response Cardinal, I completely agree. Be sure to be led by the Holy Spirit when helping people, especially financially. We aren't required to meet every need of people, or be enablers to them. Sure, it's the mandate of the Church to help the poor, but also it is for ALL able bodied believers to work, trust God, and not be a burden to others.
    When your praise match your prayers, the answer will come.
    https://www.facebook.com/Valiant-Wom...1103844642026/

  8. The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Valiant Woman For This Useful Post:

    A.J. (07-28-2017), Cardinal TT (07-28-2017), FaithfulOne (07-28-2017), Redeemed (07-28-2017), Romans828 (07-28-2017)

  9. #6
    Quote Originally Posted by Bookman View Post
    Is it impacting your income or is it just inconvenient? Do you think she's there by accident or did God plant her next to you for a reason? Could that reason be that you are meant to bless her as long as you're able?

    She could be an "angel unaware." I'd keep on giving as long as I can.
    Bookman,

    I don't think I have any financial impact beyond, repairing my lawn mower ($150) because she mowed over her kids stuff in her yard. Or the extension cord ($25) that she shredded with my weed eater. I am barely making ends meet. As for her being an angel unaware, I don't think so. I do believe that God brings people into our lives for a reason. But I am at my max.

  10. The Following User Says Thank You to Redeemed For This Useful Post:

    Valiant Woman (07-29-2017)

  11. #7
    Quote Originally Posted by Cardinal TT View Post
    Contact the church she belongs to as they should be helping her with financial and other needs - do other believers visit this family

    When it affects your family to the point they don't want to answer the door then you have to say something to this lady.
    You should not be expected to be consistently meeting her every need as that is unbiblical and can also be used by satan to wear you out.
    Your family is entitled to space without the pressures to always be giving out

    You need wisdom so also call in some mature godly people you can trust to help you make the right decisions
    No she doesn't have other people from the church help her out to my knowledge. As for any financial help, beyond her job, I have no idea if she receive help. That is kind of personal and not something I would discuss with her.

    Last night, I received a text from her....when ever she wants something, she starts with "hey neighbor". Instead of my name, that bugs me. But she wanted to use my oven because hers is not working.....I didn't see her text until this morning so it didn't happen. But instead of going out to buy a used stove/oven (I have one, has worked great for 8 years) she want a brand new one on her father's credit card. But he doesn't have room yet. As it's maxed out. A different long story there.

    I need wisdom here. Really I do.

  12. The Following User Says Thank You to Redeemed For This Useful Post:

    Valiant Woman (07-29-2017)

  13. #8
    Frozen Chosen A.J.'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2015
    Location
    Alberta, Canada
    Posts
    8,050
    Thanked: 6091
    Quote Originally Posted by Redeemed View Post
    Bookman,

    I don't think I have any financial impact beyond, repairing my lawn mower ($150) because she mowed over her kids stuff in her yard. Or the extension cord ($25) that she shredded with my weed eater. I am barely making ends meet. As for her being an angel unaware, I don't think so. I do believe that God brings people into our lives for a reason. But I am at my max.
    Quote Originally Posted by Redeemed View Post
    No she doesn't have other people from the church help her out to my knowledge. As for any financial help, beyond her job, I have no idea if she receive help. That is kind of personal and not something I would discuss with her.

    Last night, I received a text from her....when ever she wants something, she starts with "hey neighbor". Instead of my name, that bugs me. But she wanted to use my oven because hers is not working.....I didn't see her text until this morning so it didn't happen. But instead of going out to buy a used stove/oven (I have one, has worked great for 8 years) she want a brand new one on her father's credit card. But he doesn't have room yet. As it's maxed out. A different long story there.

    I need wisdom here. Really I do.
    I think your answer is right there in your two replies. You say she doesn't have a financial impact on you but she's caused nearly $200 in damage to your yard equipment and didn't offer to pay for repairs and you say you ARE at your max.

    She doesn't want a used stove? I've been married for over 40 years and have never had a new stove and while I HAVE had other appliances replaced with new ones, just what makes her believe she needs a brand spanking new stove when she can't afford it or other things.

    I have someone in my life who "borrows" a couple hundred$$ and it can get to be every month. She always repays, but she never contacts me otherwise, just when she needs money. And it bugs me enough to have started a thread here about it!!! lol So I know what you're going through!

    It's affecting your family, according to the OP. She'll likely find another soft hearted person when you start saying "No", but if you barely have enough to pay your bills, it's time to stop.

  14. The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to A.J. For This Useful Post:

    Cardinal TT (07-28-2017), FaithfulOne (07-28-2017), Femme* (07-28-2017), Pentecali (07-29-2017), Redeemed (07-28-2017), Romans828 (07-28-2017), Valiant Woman (07-29-2017)

  15. #9
    Thank you AJ. Sometimes, I think we need that support of other people when it's time to say enough. Thank you for your compassion and understanding. I am glad you get what I am talking about. I am sorry about that person in your life who borrows those funds. That can be difficult to handle.

    I know that I am kind hearted person, but it can get me into trouble, meaning I allow people to walk over me (not in a mean way) just take advantage of my generosity. And I have a hard time turning away people who need something. It's just my "nature" to want to help, and extend kindness to others in need.

    I will start saying no, to the little things, or make myself unavailable to her. Like I did unintentionally last night. They will just have to figure things out and get things done without my help. And she will realize that I am no longer "an option" for her.

    Thank you all, for your support and feedback. I am most grateful.

    Blessings to you all. xoxo

  16. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Redeemed For This Useful Post:

    A.J. (07-29-2017), Femme* (07-29-2017), Romans828 (07-29-2017), Valiant Woman (07-29-2017)

  17. #10
    Senior Member Cardinal TT's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2015
    Posts
    7,640
    Thanked: 5995
    Blog Entries
    2
    Quote Originally Posted by Redeemed View Post
    No she doesn't have other people from the church help her out to my knowledge. As for any financial help, beyond her job, I have no idea if she receive help. That is kind of personal and not something I would discuss with her.

    .

    I know its personal but its also biblical for her church to help her. There could be a reason why she doesn't get any help from them.
    Sometimes you have to be upfront and say to her that your resources are stretched and you can no longer help her as much and she needs advice from people skilled in finances.

    As I previously said are there any people you trust that you can call to support you at this time

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
You can avoid major, expensive repair costs with an extended service plan for your Hummer. Many vehicle repairs can cost thousands of dollars in unexpected expense, now may be the time to consider an extended service plan for your vehicle.