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Thread: Needy Neighbors?

  1. #81
    Quote Originally Posted by Cardinal TT View Post
    Redeemed

    Does her family or her church help out and does she have friends
    Not that I know of. Her family helps her alot. Recently her aunt took kids school shopping. She works a graveyard shift. So I do not see alot of people at her home.

  2. #82
    For the sake of this thread, let me be a bit more specific here.
    Thanks, Redeemed. That post sheds more light on the situation. I, too, have been thinking about being more specific about my admonitions to give. Although the Scriptural imperative is to give, it's also a Scriptural imperative that we "go into all the world." But we all DON'T go. Some of us "send" others because we can be their financial and prayer support. So even Scriptural imperatives do have conditions. Here are, I believe, some reasons and situations where we should consider not giving:

    1. When giving enables the recipient to do harm to themselves or others. (Don't give to an addict who will use the money to feed their addiction).
    2. When giving causes the recipient to become dependent on you (longterm) and not on the Lord. It's another version of enabling.
    3. When giving to the recipient should rightly come from another source: their church, their family, etc. (In which case, you may need to approach those responsible and get them to "man up" to their responsibilities).
    4. When the recipient is able to work, but refuses to do so.
    5. When giving causes your family to go without necessities. (Not "wants" but necessities).

    I'm sure there are other occasions that should affect when we give. Feel free to chime in.

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  4. #83
    Senior Member Colonel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bookman View Post
    Thanks, Redeemed. That post sheds more light on the situation. I, too, have been thinking about being more specific about my admonitions to give. Although the Scriptural imperative is to give, it's also a Scriptural imperative that we "go into all the world." But we all DON'T go. Some of us "send" others because we can be their financial and prayer support. So even Scriptural imperatives do have conditions. Here are, I believe, some reasons and situations where we should consider not giving:

    1. When giving enables the recipient to do harm to themselves or others. (Don't give to an addict who will use the money to feed their addiction).
    2. When giving causes the recipient to become dependent on you (longterm) and not on the Lord. It's another version of enabling.
    3. When giving to the recipient should rightly come from another source: their church, their family, etc. (In which case, you may need to approach those responsible and get them to "man up" to their responsibilities).
    4. When the recipient is able to work, but refuses to do so.
    5. When giving causes your family to go without necessities. (Not "wants" but necessities).

    I'm sure there are other occasions that should affect when we give. Feel free to chime in.
    Yeah, that pretty much sums up scripture that speaks on that directly or indirectly. The sermon on the mount lays a foundation for what we should be willing to do unto the Lord then there are the details..

  5. #84
    Senior Member Nikos's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bookman View Post
    Thanks, Redeemed. That post sheds more light on the situation. I, too, have been thinking about being more specific about my admonitions to give. Although the Scriptural imperative is to give, it's also a Scriptural imperative that we "go into all the world." But we all DON'T go. Some of us "send" others because we can be their financial and prayer support. So even Scriptural imperatives do have conditions. Here are, I believe, some reasons and situations where we should consider not giving:

    1. When giving enables the recipient to do harm to themselves or others. (Don't give to an addict who will use the money to feed their addiction).
    2. When giving causes the recipient to become dependent on you (longterm) and not on the Lord. It's another version of enabling.
    3. When giving to the recipient should rightly come from another source: their church, their family, etc. (In which case, you may need to approach those responsible and get them to "man up" to their responsibilities).
    4. When the recipient is able to work, but refuses to do so.
    5. When giving causes your family to go without necessities. (Not "wants" but necessities).

    I'm sure there are other occasions that should affect when we give. Feel free to chime in.
    Excellent points.

  6. #85

    Needy Neighbors?

    Interesting to read all the posts. It is hard to be a single mom with kids, I know because I was. If we did not have, I did not go ask my neighbors for what I needed ever, or use any of my neighbors for my "go to". We did without. If someone asked me if I had ______ they could borrow, I would give it to them. Many times what I loaned did not come back, sometimes it did. I loaned even if it was what I needed myself. I put others before us. If I ever have to borrow a egg because I am making something, I do have a few neighbors I would ask, but I always replace what I borrowed. The neighbor by Redeemed is taking advantage of Redeemed because she knows that Redeemed is a giver and taking advantage of anyone in regards to the topic is not right. She said that others help the neighbor and it is hard to be that single mom, work nights, have kids, not have this or that, but....maybe this neighbor needs someone to help her to figure how to budget her income, make a shopping list, how to cook to make it last...(my kids ate pancakes, oatmeal, cream of wheat, scrambled eggs, french toast with some fruit for breakfast, I could not afford to buy cereal, pop, chips etc...all we ate was made from scratch...what ever the weekly sales were, was what I bought, enough spaghetti for a few nights etc...). It is tough to be a single mom with kids but it is not right to always borrow, think that the next door lady is the source for whatever it may be, take advantage of someone who is nice enough to help out. It sounds more like the mom needs help getting things in order in her house with everything instead of always a hand out from Redeemed. This actually reminds me of when this happened to me almost to the "t". I finally said "sorry I can't", "sorry I am out of that", "sorry but I just can't help you with that". Sometimes I would help. Redeemed don't need to be the next door neighbors "go to" for what she and her kids do not have. The neighbor has family who help her and to me, the neighbor needs help getting things in order in her home. When you become the "go to" for someone like Redeemed has become, it is not just the things, the money, the time, it is also becoming frustrated, like she said, not wanting to answer the door, not wanting to go outside because you will be intruded upon etc. Then you get upset, mad, tired of it and etc. I do not think that what the Bible says about giving means letting people walk all over you. When giving to someone becomes that receiver's "binkie and baby bottle"...that is not to me what giving is about at all. I would ask the neighbor if I could talk to her, tell her nicely that I do not mind helping now and then, but what has taken place in the past has to change because I can not do this anymore.
    Last edited by Lindaeverchanging; 08-07-2017 at 09:14 AM. Reason: changed some words

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  8. #86
    Senior Member Colonel's Avatar
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    The Bible instructs us to take care of our own household/family before giving to others. This applies to ministers as well - John G. Lake failed to observe this principle, his first wife died from malnutrition/starvation in Africa while he was busy ministering and his children resented him for it the rest of their lives.

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  10. #87
    Thank you for sharing, Linda!

  11. #88
    Maybe my neighbor has secretly been reading this....since I posted, they haven't asked for anything.

    Anyone prayed about that?!

    Sunday I went over to her house to give (my choice) some of my chicken pasta salad...I made too much and didn't want to waste it. Gave a portion to my other older neighbor too. I still have three days left of lunches on that meal. So yummy. But that was me just being me.

    You all are great! Really appreciated the thread and feedback and your thoughts.

    Blessings to you all! xo

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  13. #89
    Senior Member Valiant Woman's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Redeemed View Post
    Maybe my neighbor has secretly been reading this....since I posted, they haven't asked for anything.

    Anyone prayed about that?!

    Sunday I went over to her house to give (my choice) some of my chicken pasta salad...I made too much and didn't want to waste it. Gave a portion to my other older neighbor too. I still have three days left of lunches on that meal. So yummy. But that was me just being me.

    You all are great! Really appreciated the thread and feedback and your thoughts.

    Blessings to you all! xo
    Ut-oh! You know what they say about feeding stray cats? Hope you didnt open the door again for them to come back a knocking.
    When your praise match your prayers, the answer will come.
    https://www.facebook.com/Valiant-Wom...1103844642026/

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  15. #90
    Not sure....they asked for baking soda tonight. It's okay...I know where I need to draw the line.

    I have clarity (many thanks to all of you here) and I know where my line needs to be drawn. I just can't and won't throw away good food.

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