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Thread: Should kids be forced to give hugs/kisses?

  1. #1

    Should kids be forced to give hugs/kisses?

    http://www.goodhousekeeping.com/life...c=socialflowFB

    Grandma and Grandpa are probably stopping by any day now, and a viral Facebook post has an important message for them and families everywhere. Parents always tell kids to give an uncle a kiss or a family friend a hug, but the hidden implication outweighs being polite.

    A photo shared by A Mighty Girl, a parenting site for daughters, from Safe Kids, Thriving Families, a child abuse protection charity, reveals the unexpected meaning behind some traditional family greetings. "I am 5. My body is my body," the caption reads. "Don't force me to kiss or hug. I am learning about consent and your support on this will help me keep myself safe for the rest of my life."It might sound serious, but that's because it is. "When we force children to submit to unwanted affection in order not to offend a relative or hurt a friend's feelings, we teach them that their bodies do not really belong to them because they have to push aside their own feelings about what feels right to them," Irene van der Zande, an expert on personal safety and violence prevention, told CNN. "This leads to children getting sexually abused, teen girls submitting to sexual behavior so 'he'll like me' and kids enduring bullying because everyone is 'having fun.'"

    ....While grandparents certainly love getting hugs — and lots of kids love giving them! — the requirement is what sends the wrong message. Physical affection should always be freely given.

    "Just to be clear to everyone — WE LOVE HUGS AND KISSES," Safe Kids, Thriving Families wrote on their Facebook page. "However, we are VERY MUCH against FORCING kids to kiss and hug. We are a child abuse protection charity who work in our community with victims and families and it is well established in this field that ONE of the ways to protect our children is to change our cultural attitudes towards consent and body autonomy."

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    curly sue (12-18-2016), Valiant Woman (12-18-2016)

  3. #2
    Should kids be forced to give hugs/kisses?

    no

    but it doesn't mean Mom and Dad, Grandma and Grandpa, Aunties and Uncles can't love them up. They can GET hugs, from FAMILY, without having to return them.

  4. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Femme* For This Useful Post:

    curly sue (12-18-2016), FaithfulOne (12-18-2016), tschau (12-18-2016)

  5. #3
    NEVER force or require a child to hug or kiss! This is a biggie with me!

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    Femme* (12-18-2016), Valiant Woman (12-18-2016)

  7. #4
    the folks in our family are some of those who automatically offer the kid to hug the relatives..
    I kind of shocked them (at first) when instead of just assuming the kid was ok, I offered my hand to shake.. and told them not to feel like they HAD to hug me.. when they were ready would be soon enough.

  8. #5
    Senior Member Valiant Woman's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Femme* View Post
    Should kids be forced to give hugs/kisses?

    no

    They can GET hugs, from FAMILY, without having to return them.
    If a child doesn't want to be hugged, I wouldn't force it on them.
    When your praise match your prayers, the answer will come.
    https://www.facebook.com/Valiant-Wom...1103844642026/

  9. #6
    Frozen Chosen A.J.'s Avatar
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    We never forced our kids to hug and certainly not kiss anyone they weren't comfortable with.

    Never, never never.

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    Valiant Woman (12-19-2016)

  11. #7
    Quote Originally Posted by Valiant Woman View Post
    If a child doesn't want to be hugged, I wouldn't force it on them.
    generally, I'd agree.. but with Mom.. oh yeah, that kid's getting hugged, no matter what they say.

    With everyone else (well, except Dad) it's up to them.

    too many times kids don't even really know what they want, and get prickly. I'd rather my girl remember I hugged her anyway.

    Not sayin EVERY time.. some some times.

  12. #8
    Senior Member Cardinal TT's Avatar
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    I didn't have a choice the culture was too strong

  13. #9
    Setting boundaries early is always a good idea, IMO. I've known kids who turn/run away at any attempt to hug or kiss from anybody (except parents), and I've known kids who are overly friendly. Side hugs are best.

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    Valiant Woman (12-28-2016)

  15. #10
    Member Laura Grace's Avatar
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    It's up to the parents. Let them Pray, let the Lord guide their steps on this. GOD knows what a child will face in his
    future! I wish every parent would pray over their children and ask God what to do with that specific child.
    Laura Grace Author, Grace to Grow, Grace to Grow Study Guide and more books to come.
    When we stand before Jesus, he is not going to ask what everyone else told you to do....
    He is going to ask "what did I tell you to do?" Press on!

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