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A church was having a large Baptism celebration at the river when the amiable town drunk wandered by. The preacher spied him and called out to him, "can I help you find Jesus?"
The drunk amiably said "sure". The preacher led him to the water and dunked the drunk, exclaiming loudly, "In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Ghost!" And pulled the drunk upright.
"Now, have you found Jesus?" Cried the Preacher. "Nope," answered the drunk.
The Preacher looked surprised but he decided to dunk the drunk again, holding him under a little longer this time. After blessing him, the Preacher pulled the drunk upright and again asked, "Now have you found Jesus? ". The drunk sputtered a bit and then said, "Nope."
The Preacher was really shocked now but determined to save this drunkard, so he once again dunked the drunkard, held him under long and firmly, proclaiming blessings and exhortations until the drunkard struggled and thrashed in the water.
The Preacher finally pulled him upright and cried, "NOW, have you found Jesus?!"
The drunkard coughed and sputtered then said, "Are you sure this is where he went in at?"
First off, THANK YOU EVERYONE for your concern. I'm ok, just a little shaken up, but l'll be ok. For those of you who don't know what happened, I was robbed this morning at the gas station. I gathered myself together, my hands were still shaking, I was dizzy and I honestly think I was in shock. My money was gone. I called the police, they were fantastic and called for medical assistance as my blood pressure was through the roof. The police asked me if I knew who did it, and I told them "Yes, it was pump number 2.