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Thread: You might be Canadian if........

  1. #1
    Frozen Chosen A.J.'s Avatar
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    You might be Canadian if........

    According to Jeff Foxworthy:
    (And my responses are in BLUE!)

    If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May you may live in Canada.
    Ours is open year round

    If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't work there, you may live in Canada.
    (Been there, done that, but usually in the Grocery Store)

    If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you may live in Canada
    (not me but I see people in shorts year round)

    If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you may live in Canada
    (or text conversation)

    If "Vacation" means going anywhere south of Muncie for the weekend you may live in Canada.
    (I have no idea where Muncie is, but in Canada, people go on HOLIDAYS, never vacation)

    If you measure distance in hours, you may live in Canada
    (always)

    If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you may live in Canada
    (yup. Never hit one myself, but it's a risk year round)

    If you have switched from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again, you may live in Canada
    (I don't have AC, but I know people who have actually done that.)

    If you can drive 90 kms/hr through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching, you may live in Canada
    Yup

    If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both unlocked, you may live in Canada


    If you carry jumpers in your car and your wife knows how to use them, you may live in Canada
    (Jeff is so misinformed! We call them Booster Cables and yes, I've used them))

    If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, you may live in Canada
    (A must)

    If the speed limit on the highway is 80km — you're going 90 and everybody is passing you, you may live in Canada
    (Hiway speed limits are generally 100KPH or 110KPH and people still pass me when I'm doing 120)

    If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow, you may live in Canada
    (Absolute truth)

    If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction, you may live in Canada
    (again, absolute truth)

    If you have more miles on your snow blower than your car, you may live in Canada.


    If you find 2 degrees "a little chilly", you may live in Canada
    (Depends on whether it's spring or fall - spring it feels warm and fall, our blood hasn't thickened up yet! 2C is a wonderful balmy day mid winter!)

    If you actually understand these jokes, and forward them to all your Canadian friends & others, you definitely live in Canada

  2. #2
    Frozen Chosen A.J.'s Avatar
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    Another variation of being Canadian jokes:

    25 Signs You May Be Canadian

    1. You're not offended by the term "HOMO MILK".

    2. . You understand the phrase "Could you pass me a serviette, I just dropped my poutine, on the chesterfield."

    3. You eat chocolate bars, not candy bars.

    4. You drink Pop, not Soda.

    5. You know that a Mickey and 24's mean, "party at the camp, eh!!!"
    (Mickey=a pint of liquor and a 2-4 is a 24 pack of beer)

    6. You don't care about the fuss with Cuba. It's a cheap place to go for your holidays, with good cigars .

    7. You know that a pike is a type of fish, not part of a highway.

    8. You drive on a highway, not a freeway.

    9. You have Canadian Tire money in your kitchen drawers.
    (Canadian Tire is a store that sells everything from tires to sporting goods to housewares to hardware)

    10. You know that Casey and Finnegan were not part of a Celtic musical
    group.

    11. You get excited whenever an American television show mentions Canada.

    12. You brag to Americans that; Shania Twain, Jim Carrey, Celine Dion & Mike Myers are Canadians. ... also , Alex Trebec, David Foley, Matthew Perry etc.etc.

    13. You know that the C.E.O. of American Airlines is a Canadian!

    14. You know what a toque is.

    15. You design your Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.

    16. You know that the last letter of the English alphabet is always pronounced "Zed".

    17. Your local newspaper covers the national news on 2 pages, but requires 6 pages for hockey.

    18. You know that the four seasons mean: almost winter, winter, still Winter, and road work.

    19. You know that when it's 25 degrees outside, it's a warm day.

    20. You understand the Labatt Blue commercials.
    (It's a beer)

    21. You know how to pronounce and spell "Saskatchewan".

    22. You perk up when you hear the theme song from 'Hockey Night in Canada'.

    23. You are in grade 12, not the 12th grade.

    24. "Eh?" is a very important part of your vocabulary, and is more polite
    than, "Huh?"

    25. You actually understand these jokes, and forward them to all of your Canadian friends! Then you send them to your American friends just to confuse them!


    http://bertc.com/subfour/truth/25signs.htm

  3. #3
    Administrator fuego's Avatar
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    Funny stuff. I wonder how he got to know Canada that well.

  4. #4
    Muncie is in Indiana..

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