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  1. #51
    Senior Member Colonel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BAP View Post
    Today most people come into marriages hooked on porn and while most churches do a good job in warning men about exposure to porn . Few churches do enough to warn women about Emotional Porn which makes it impossible for them to be submissive towards their husbands when he falls short of the Idealized Romanticized man whom can read their minds and every mood that they dream of .
    They even bring it with them into the marriage. Reminds me of how Paula White's new rock star husband bragged about their watching porn together. I'm not sure but it seems that there was little reaction to that statement. Just because people are going to have sex anyway doesn't make watching porn any more right. Others don't do that but they keep watching porn on the side, even when they find their spouse sexually satisfying as such. It's a drug and an addiction.

  2. #52
    Quote Originally Posted by Colonel View Post
    It sounds to me like the two latter women were hiding behind church status. Which can be a dangerous thing. But he should have grown wary after the pastor's daughter turned out like she did.
    As i noted , I believe they were christians , just very carnal and very foolish and in truth pretty much all of them had influential voices in their ears(Typically their mothers) encouraging them to rebel against their husbands authority

    The third wifes mother was supposedly a prophet so all marital decisions were subject to veto by "the prophet" according to her. When in pre-marriage counseling she agreed that teh husband was the head of the home. Once they got married her mother became the head of the home

    The first wife came from money , her father was a medical doctor in saudi arabia and her mother basically instilled in her that since she was a little "princess" she shouldn't have to work or contribute financially Even motherhood had to come with a live-in nanny in tow all at his expense of course while she ran up credit cards and partied like a princess .

    Such sacrifices by the man would be the proof that he loved her and make her happy afterall keeping the woman "happy" appears to be the Holy Grail of marriage in modern western culture these days

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  4. #53
    Senior Member Cardinal TT's Avatar
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    BAP
    I do hear you and agree with those things you wrote about the culture etc.

    Pastors need to be more responsible and discerning when marrying people and need to investigate more thoroughly.
    There seems to be a lot of bad advice given to your friend

  5. #54
    Senior Member Cardinal TT's Avatar
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    I told my good friend I was against him marrying a woman he didn't know well enough. He had previously divorced years earlier and was wanting to get remarried but he hadn't worked through some issues.

    He rejected my advice and 18 months later it was a mess and he admitted he wish he listened to me.(that doesn't mean I consider myself an expert but there are some basic principles that need to be in place when one gets married especially for believers)

    Some people are too stubborn to receive sound advice and will go ahead and do what they want

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  7. #55
    Senior Member Colonel's Avatar
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    That sounds interesting, could you give us an outline of those principles ?

  8. #56
    Senior Member Romans828's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BAP View Post
    ... what many Christian counselors often fail to see is the immense cultural shift that has taken place over the past fifty years .

    Being a good spouse doesn't come naturally - it has to be taught - and many of the cultural norms and practices that upheld marriage that were widely taught and accepted by the culture are simply no more in vogue.

    If anything, most counselors validate the women in their rebellion by placing all responsibility on men while excusing the women.

  9. #57
    Related to topic: ... why people I thought were grounded, mature Christians will MARRY AN UNBELIEVER. I rolled my eyes more than once on people who seemed solid in their faith did this seemingly without blinking an eye.

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  11. #58
    Senior Member Colonel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jonathan david View Post
    Related to topic: ... why people I thought were grounded, mature Christians will MARRY AN UNBELIEVER. I rolled my eyes more than once on people who seemed solid in their faith did this seemingly without blinking an eye.
    Sometimes they aren't sure what the other one believes and the other one is playing that game because it seems safer. Then they figure it out at a later point when it seems like it's too late. Or the other one will happily profess belief if confronted, will let the spouse involve the kids in Christian activities - as long as they themselves don't need to do much anything...except perhaps go to church once in a while. The unequal yoke is fundamentally a spiritual thing though, if the other one isn't born again then that is a problem even if he or she is "religion friendly".

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