Thread: Can gays be happily married to heterosexuals?

-When Christian rock star Trey Pearson announced he was coming out of the closet and separating from his wife and their two children after seven and a half years of marriage, he said that his wife had been his “biggest supporter” and that “she just hugged me and cried and said how proud of me she was.”

If this account is exactly true, it is troubling. Think about the degree of social decay required—especially within Christianity—for a Christian wife to be so conditioned by popular culture that she immediately congratulates her husband for abandoning her and their children, rather than reaching out for help to preserve their marriage and family. A man who walks away from a marriage because of same-sex attraction is no different from a man who abdicates his role as husband and father for sex with other women. We shouldn’t view Trey Pearson’s actions as heroically true-to-self, but as simply selfish.

I should know. I walked away from my marriage nearly twenty years ago because of my same-sex attraction. I made a stunning error in judgment. Thankfully, our marriage has been very happily restored for more than five years now. Along the way, I learned that marriage is more than just a tradition or a religious or social construct. Monogamous, complementary, conjugal marriage is a pearl of great price worth investing one’s entire life in, a pursuit that surpasses all its imitators and impostors.

Many Same-Sex-Attracted People Are Drawn to Complementarity and the Solemnity of Marriage

Popular culture now espouses the notion that heteronormativity is harmful to those with same-sex attraction. But many who experience same-sex attraction would disagree. In seeking conjugal, complementary marriage rather than anti-conjugal, anti-complementary relationships, we seek nothing more than to fit in with the entire universe, to be part of the wonderful ecosystem of humanity and all of nature. Non-conjugal, non-complementary sexual relationships are a synthetic lifestyle, at odds with nature and the entire cosmos. Not only do we seek marriage in the only true sense of the word, we are dedicated to its solemnity and the sanctity of our marriage vows.

One man recently told me:

Over the years, I have had passing thoughts of giving up my family and marriage for a same-sex relationship or partner, but decided that in no way is it worth destroying my family and marriage for that. There is enough unhappiness in this world without me adding to it. Life isn't all about me; I have created a family and children and I have a responsibility to them that I could never forsake. So over time, even when feeling same-sex attraction, I have chosen not to dwell on it and to remain faithful to my marriage and family. I draw immense satisfaction from that.

I don’t think of myself according to my sexuality or sexual desires, but rather as a man, husband, and father. I’ve formed many relationships that support that self-understanding and I’m content with it. I suspect that there are many married men like me with these same-sex attractions but who choose to remain faithful to our first commitment to wife and family. It’s no big deal to. Really. In fact, it’s the greatest of honors and privileges...

http://www.thepublicdiscourse.com/2016/07/17316/

He must have convinced her that every day was a torment and that he married her from peer pressure. Even if that is true it's still his responsibility and she is a victim. The story reminds me of a gay celebrity here in Norway who used to be a gay porn actor. If he had been straight there would have been a lot of fuss but since he was gay people saw it as a gay thing. Gay seems to be a license for whatever.

There are three possibilities with restoration of heterosexuality.

1) Repentance from the heart and the renewal of the mind, then the emotions will follow.

This is sufficient in many cases.

2) A restoration miracle where what was broken or messed up is healed.

This may be necessary in some cases.

3) A creative miracle where the ability to function as a heterosexual is given where it was not present from birth.

I don't believe in the necessity of that but I don't rule it out entirely. Last year I ministered to a child with downs syndrome who had a small band of her intended intelligence restored to her, something she was technically not born with. It enables her to function at a higher level. I have the hope that she will be completely restored in the future. Even if there are gays who lack an intrinsic ability to function as heterosexuals from birth, that wouldn't mean that there is no hope beyond a life of celibacy.