Thread: Frustrated!

So ok, after a few months of somewhat of a sabbatical, I returned to my home church, ready to serve and get plugged back in...only to find out that they STILL don't have their cr@p together..the leadership (somewhat new, but not really--our current pastor was our worship leader previously but had been with the church for several years) says that the Lord directed him to bring back our annual youth conference this year (one that we had held for over a decade, but with pastor/leadership changes over the past 5-6 years, the conference was dropped).

This conference was poorly attended, with just our church's youth and another church from out of state attending. There were no offerings taken (this had been in place during all previous conferences, the conference fee was/is kinda steep), so I don't know if or how much "in the red" the church is right now.

I had volunteered to serve a few months back, but they still lacked enough volunteers, despite a weekly appeal for people to sign up...at just about the last minute though they wanted the volunteers' t-shirt sizes and I told them mine. But the t-shirts were not distributed in time for us to wear them during the conference--but I still wanted mine. (I decided to insist they give me mine, since they went to the trouble to ask and order them) The person that was in charge of the t-shirts tells me she only had 4x available! Double the size I normally wear! Needless to say I ain't wearing that shirt outside of the house--it will become a sleep shirt,

Here's where I am right now--I don't know if all this is just a matter of inexperience at leadership, immaturity, a question of accurately hearing the Holy Spirit (despite claims that they are following His leading, timing, or what.

The following statement probably will bring some heat my way, but here it is...they want people to tithe, (even held a Dave Ramsey nine-week seminar on finances which in a nutshell was all about tithing before you do anything else with your money), but I'm like, why should I--ya'll are showing me how undiscerning and careless you are with what you have now...

My suspicion--leadership is being influenced by someone outside the church,(prior leadership) someone that used to be there and knows the ins and outs of things...the problem with that is God is not being allowed to do a 'new thing', and the outside help is using the inexperience of the current leadership to perhaps still wield some control.( I'm purposely being a little vague..)

So, although one of the attributes of love listed in 1 Corinthians is patience, I'm wondering how much patience am I supposed to have in this? I'm not in a position where I can just walk in the pastor's office and list everything that's wrong--that would be ludicrous and disrespectful. But am I supposed to just keep quiet and pray things will get better? or go on another sabbatical?

Originally Posted by FaithfulOne

So ok, after a few months of somewhat of a sabbatical, I returned to my home church, ready to serve and get plugged back in...only to find out that they STILL don't have their cr@p together..

And when you left was there some sign on the horizon that led you to hope and believe they actually would have their cr@p together when you got back? Or was this an irrational assumption basically based on nothing other than the fact if you took a sabbatical things would have changed when you got back?

Originally Posted by fuego

And when you left was there some sign on the horizon that led you to hope and believe they actually would have their cr@p together when you got back? Or was this an irrational assumption basically based on nothing other than the fact if you took a sabbatical things would have changed when you got back?

Probably an irrational assumption. Seriously.

Originally Posted by FaithfulOne

Probably an irrational assumption. Seriously.

Ah...an irrational assumption makes for much angst.

Originally Posted by Laura Grace

I don't know the answers, but I do know this. I attended a church for 10 years, which said if you want to serve wash toilets, or do dishes I did that. This church said every Sunday we are led by the Spirit and prayed to be. one day an associate pastor asked for help with leading Sunday school. When I volunteered, he said "we need people who are faithful." I said "I"m here every time!" He said "I didn't see you" They did not keep those books you sign in so I sat in different places all the time. all this time, I am learning to walk by the Spirit (from them!) and I was filled with the Spirit, praying in the Spirit. (by this time). I forgave it and I did not offer in that area again. I asked to be on the worship team, I was told they needed 'anointed singers". This is a true story I would not lie to you! God is my witness! I loved this church prayed for it all the time. I felt the Spirit of God there as well. Let's see, fast forward, one of the anointed singers runs off with the Pastor, he leaves his wife for her. I cried and prayed and asked God to use me someday, and studied my bible. Seems Jesus never usurped authority he said "do not be like them" referring to the Pharisees. I translated that into "current leadership." I prayed and left that church, found a different one. Money is freely accepted but help is not, and the reception of help depends on if they like how you look, if you are a friend or relative, or just whatever .......

It seems to me in most churches I have attended, the selection of help has little to do with "the Spirit of God." I attended Dave Ramsey classes. At that time we were over 20,000 in debt on TOP of our house payment. We were fading fast. My husband lost his job then it got worse! God delivered us, and we never did "tithe" according to the Dave Ramsey method. I believe In cheerful Giving and God says what to give. More or less than "a 10th" is entirely up to Him. We walk by the Spirit, and I personally refuse to walk in the doctrines of man, which are not based on personal revelation, from God to me.

Church is often run like a business. I am about my Father's business. I won't give you a bit of flack, as I do feel your pain. I am a firm believer that Jesus is our savior, our shepherd, and he sent the Holy Spirit to teach us. After years of personal study and Time with the Lord I do NOW Attend church again, but I refuse to be anything but spirit led. Recently I was asked to sing "every week" (they just need singers, it has nothing to do with my worthiness one way or another) I can sing, they have nobody and if they had a ton of singers already, I probably would not be asked! I know this! Let's just put it this way, Praying to Walk by the Spirit means we will be growing and learning from day to day. (THEM TOO!) So that means nobody is going to do anything perfectly right! That's my take on it! If they think they are always right, well they probably have a big fall coming. Pride surely does go before the Fall! How do I know? Banged up scars from when I fell from my own high and mighty pedestals! Isn't serving God just Grand? It really is! Holy Spirit you are the perfect teacher! We ask you to guide us today and everyday, help us to keep our focus on you (and ourselves) as much as we can.

in Jesus' name bless this person and help their church to flow better! Amen!

thank you Laura Grace! You are on point!

Originally Posted by fuego

Ah...an irrational assumption makes for much angst.

Um hmm....

Life's too short to stay in a church where you don't belong and you're not ministering or are ministered to. Start lookin'.

Uggghhh......... I'm so frustrated with some people in my church right now I'd like to shake 'em till their teeth rattle.

Control freaks drive me nuts.





















And I'm sure that's very helpful.

You're welcome.

Originally Posted by Bookman

Life's too short to stay in a church where you don't belong and you're not ministering or are ministered to. Start lookin'.

Agreed. And over-spiritualizing causes people to hang around too long and have guilt and shame about wanting to leave, etc. Just leave already.